There are many. That is why there are so many parenting problems
with children. And one step further, that is why there are so
many adults with mental issues. Why do you think there are alcoholics
and drug users. Because they have mental issues and this started
in their childhood. Because of wrong parenting they are out of
balance now and they need products to get a good feeling. All
related to parenting.
will happen if I do parenting the wrong way?
get problems for sure. And you and your children will suffer on
kind of problems?
on which wrong parenting you are doing. And how strong your influence
is. If you make small mistakes, you will get small problems. If
you have no clue what you are doing or you use extreme wrong parenting,
you will get huge problems. It is almost guaranteed.
the children do whatever they want, is that the right way?
is very wrong. It looks that way and it is the easy way of parenting,
but you will get uncontrollable children for sure. They will be
uncontrollable in your house, in shops (probably you have seen
them running, screaming, wanting products), at school and in their
adult life. Letting the children do whatever they want, is not
parenting. It is not doing anything.
children is the right way of parenting?
It is also very wrong. If you do it the hard way, you could succeed
in getting control, but you have no idea how much damage for the
children you cause. You create slaves who will stay submissive
for the rest of their lives. And you could create aggression and
what is the right way?
it is somewhere in the middle. Keep reading.
in charge in a family?
without any doubt. Children cannot be in charge. They are too
inexperienced. But it does not have to be the dominant way. It
can be a lot better. With dominance you can be in charge, but
you will create tension for sure. A really happy family is not
possible this way.
will happen if I parent the wrong way?
get problems and tension in your family life for sure. The problems
you will get, depends on which wrong form of parenting you use.
If you do not control them, children will be screaming, disobeying,
fighting, resisting all the time. Bed time will a battle.
below as what can happen if you do parenting the wrong way. With
the right parenting you prevent being in a situation as below.
dominate the hard way, you will squeeze all the children's fun
and pleasure out of them. They will become very passive for the
rest of their lives.
saying parenting influences on how an adult will be?
creates the foundation for the character of a child and the future
adult. The level of happiness is created here. If a child becomes
submissive, it will stay in this mode. It will become the default
life approach. During the adult life there can be slight changes
and major improvements are possible if one tries very hard, but
it will not be easy.
do not believe it, think about this. If a toddler is trying to
walk for the first time, it will fall. It will get up again and
it will fall again. It will fall dozens of times and every time
it will get up again. This is for every toddler, because everybody
is walking now. It will not stay down and think: "I'll stay
down. This is too complicated. I give up." This is because
there is no doubt about the self esteem yet. Compare this to many
adults. Many will give up after a first failure of something new.
And many will not even try something new, because there is too
much self doubt. Like riding a bike, or learn to swim or playing
an instrument. This is because their self esteem is damaged somewhere
in their childhood.
can be maintained with the right parenting. Watch young children.
They are all happy. They are not depressed. Watch adults. Where
is there happiness? It is gone or limited. And depression is not
caused by life's problems, but how one handles problems.
were not very nice to me, but I am feeling good.
the way you are feeling about yourself, is the way you are used
to. But I can assure you, there are much higher levels of feeling
good. You only haven't experienced them. That is why you think
you are at you best. And that is why people need drugs and alcohol.
It is for getting to that higher level.
can blame my parents?
all parents want the best for their children. But because your
parents also had no idea how to raise children they copied their
parents, etc. They did the best they could most of the time. And
do not think you can raise children because you were raised. This
is not enough. If you learn things, you improve. This is for soccer,
study and parenting.
you so hard on parents?
can make or brake a child. I want to avoid the breaking.
of wrong parenting, children are hurt and damaged. I really do
not like that. And there is no need for that. If you do parenting
a better way, your children will like this and you will like this,
because all the tensions will disappear through of the backdoor.
I am not
saying the things you want to hear. I am saying the things you
have to hear, if you really want the best for your children. If
you have control issues, which most parents have, you can only
solve this by doing the right things. If you are doing the wrong
things, you only make it worse. And please do not blame genes;
they have no influence on this at all.
are not the problem. Many parents have no or hardly any problems
with their children. And this is only because these parents are
doing the right things. Children want to be happy and enjoy life.
They do not want to cry, fight or being neglected.
there so much wrong parenting?
most parents have no idea what the consequences are with a certain
approach and because they have never learned how to raise children
the right way. Most of the time it is copying the way they were
raised or with a slight variation. Or they are going to do the
opposite, but then you get the opposite problems. Very often parents
have a certain approach and if children stand up to this, parents
will try harder. And because of that children will resist harder.
And because of that, parents put a lot more pressure on it, etc.
It is going in the wrong direction and it is going to a war. But
if parents would try a different way, they could get much better
results. But most parents have no other way. They use the way
how their mom and dad did it. Or the opposite.
are saying the parents are the problem. Not the children?
If you are not insulted or hurt too much, keep reading. I am going
to open a new world for you. Good parenting is simple, but the
results can be huge. For you and your children. Before you start
misunderstanding me, I am not blaming anybody. Almost all parents
want the best for their children. The thing is, most parents are
not realizing what really happens with a certain way of parenting.
the time, children are blamed for the problems. This is the easiest
explanation. "Because I have problems with my children, it
is because of my children." They blame children for being
uncontrollable if they have no control. In other words, if parents
allow something, it is the fault of children? If children fight
suppression from dominant parents, children are the problem? What
would you do if someone wants to dominate you?
children in charge?
is only one reason for it, it is because you allow it. You cannot
blame them. They took the opportunity, because nobody stopped
them. Every young born will try to lead. That is a nature thing.
And the strongest one will succeed. And this should be the parents.
attacked, but explain.
to talk to you, to make you understand. So a few question for
do you like?
will be the ones, who are friendly, helpful, who want to listen
and with whom you can have fun with. In other words, they respect
you. And because of that, you respect him or her. Would you
like to disturb this situation by giving a bad attitude. No
you won't. You have a good relationship and you want to keep
it that way. You even try to improve it. This for friends, family,
neighbors, but also for the nice guy in the bookstore.
do you not like?
will be the ones, who do not respect you by laughing at you,
cheating on you, ordering you and for instance interrupting
you all the time. In other words you feel not respected. And
this is correct, they do not respect you. They evoke hurting
and maybe aggression. You will go against them, counter attack
or avoid them. Remember it is not because of you. It is because
of their behavior, you respond and feel that way. It is not
what you want. You prefer a nice and friendly communication.
it, keep going.
Well, it is
the same for children. They do not know much, but they have
the same feelings as you. They like the same kind of people
as you like. They also do not like the kind of people that hurt
also do not like the ones who hurt them.
Children also do not like the ones who command them.
Children also do not like the ones who laugh at them.
also do not like the ones who do not listen to them.
the difference is, you can walk away, choose other friend or
stand up for yourself. But children cannot.
the above image?
the intro image of my parenting video course. Udemy choose this
image. Udemy is the site where my course is uploaded. But I am very
happy with the image they choose. This image says it all. Two happy
people who are enjoying each others company. Dad is happy. Daughter
is happy. Dad is paying attention to his little girl. Dad is sitting
on the floor. Most parents are too reserved for this. But this is
how a harmonic family looks like. This is a sign of high level parenting.
what causes problem with children?
control or not enough control. And not respecting children. With
too much control, they will fight because nobody, including children,
wants to be dominated. With not enough control, children are crossing
borders they shouldn't. With not respecting, children start disliking
parents. Would you like someone who does not take you seriously?
I can assure
you, if you are having problems with your children, you are doing
things wrong. Children do not want to cause problems. They want
to enjoy life and a good relationship with their parents. If you
respect them and do things the right way, they will accept you are
in charge. It all depends on how you do it. The right parenting
is the foundation for a very happy family. Everything else fails
and will cause many problems.
is a lot on social media. Is that good?
No. It means
it is missing something in the family. If nobody is really listening
to a child or it is dominated all the time, it will start to feel
being neglected and maybe lonely. Because of that a child starts
to use the surrogate social media. There it will find people he
or she can talk to and it can get responses. Most of the time these
are superficial friends. But better this, then nobody. Addicted
to social media, means loneliness. I am not against social media,
but it should be limited.
prefer talking to a good friend face to face, or chat with an unknown?
Think about this. Would your child prefer talking to you and having
fun, or would it prefer typing with someone pretty anonymous? Would
you prefer talking or chatting with your partner? If you are playing
with your children, I can assure they are not interested in a computer
friend. A young child will drop social media immediately if children
(and adults) are playing soccer in the backyard. "This is much
is filling a hole. But that hole shouldn't be there. It is not a
good sign if a child is posting their problems on the Internet.
Any idea who is the right person for a child's problems?
me, if a child has problems, the parents are the most important
persons he or she wants to share it with. But, if parents do not
respond the right way, a child stops sharing and could choose for
postings. Laughing at his problems, is one of those mistakes. Many
parents and not very good at listening to children. Because of that,
children start to look for other sources.
the video below?
is my first video from the parenting course on Udemy. It is also
at Udemy, but the preview is small. This is from YouTube in a larger
format. So you can get a better impression. More free (small) previews
at my Udemy course page.
is the right way of parenting?
it is the respectful way, without loosing control over the children.
I learn to do parenting the right way?
info from this page. Maybe it is enough. But if you need more details
on how to do this, my online parenting video course will help you.
Do I need
your parenting video course?
you do. Good parenting is rare. Do not count too much on what you
are used to or think you are perfect. You are working on something
very important. Maybe the most important job you have in your life.
Too important to experiment.
If you have
a very happy family (you know, laughing, having fun, enjoying each
other) and you have no problems or only once in a while, you do
not need this course. If in doubt, one of my free previews, is giving
more detail on if this course is useful for you.
video course help?
Yes it does.
It explains what to and what not to do. And, very important, why.
(not a review) from one of my students touched me, because this
is what I want to achieve: "Let me tell you, today is the first
day I have applied the techniques, and my child started kissing
me and she said she was so happy to be with me, and it was her best
day ever :)"
on this. I consider my explaining not as techniques. It is how you
should treat other people, including children. Listening to others,
is not a technique. It is what you should do. The image above is
not related to this. But it could be.
be the result?
life on a much higher level. You have no idea what is possible.
Problems are caused by the wrong treatment. The same things that
would upset you, will upset others, including children. There is
always a reason for problems. They do not pop up out of nowhere.
I am explaining you the problems so you can solve them.
No. It is
as simple as this site. Plain English. No complicated theories.
Everybody can understand. You only have to be open minded. Open
minded means, listening to what I am saying and then judging for
yourself if I am right or wrong. If one is not open minded, he or
she is not growing and will make the same mistakes over and over
again. Not being open minded, is because of fear. The fear of new
I don't like the course or it is not helpful?
get a 30 day full refund from Udemy. No questions asked.